The Dream Before the Storm

If I knew then what I know now...

May, 2019 — JFK International Airport, New York

I returned to the United States after a routine visit to Kenya, where much of my nonprofit work is based, and drove up to my mom’s new home.

The plan was to stay just a few months before heading back to the field.

July, 2019 — Tivoli, New York

Looking back, I now realize I had been carrying Lyme disease since early 2015, missing all the warning signs. I’ll share more about this in a later post.

About a month after my 41st birthday, I clearly remember this disturbing week when the “dam broke.”

My immune system, no longer able to defend itself, gave way. The symptoms arrived one after another with speed.

My left knee swelled up, and I could barely walk. My right elbow ballooned to the size of a golf ball. I bought braces for both wrists, as something strange and painful was happening to them.

Next, my shoulders started behaving abnormally — it felt like one of them had glass shards in it. My right ankle had electrical, pulsing sensations. Plus, more.

One morning that week, I woke up in a state of inexplicable anxiety. No trigger — just a wave of fear. I tried to go about my day and even got on the lawn mower, but I had to stop quickly. Something wasn’t right.

I called my mom, who rushed home from work, and I briefly considered going to the ER, but chose not to. My primary doctor told me it was likely a tension headache. My forehead even appeared swollen.

It’s clear this was neurological Lyme making a push. Had I gone to the ER, I probably would have been diagnosed with it much earlier. But I wasn’t ready to accept that anything bad was happening.

My functionality steadily decreased, and I could no longer ignore what was going on.

And in the middle of this stretch, I had an intense and symbolic dream I still remember vividly.

The Snake Dream — Poison as Medicine

I saw a snake thickly coiled around my neck. As I tried to pull it off, it bit me. Dream over, I woke up and had physical sensations around the bite area from the dream.

Reflecting, as someone who loves symbolism and philosophy — and who even has two snake tattoos — I can begin to see the meaning in that dream.

Snake venom has a long history of medicinal use in different cultures. Symbolically, snakes — as in the rod of Asclepius — are associated with healing and medicine.

Over time, I came to understand that Lyme disease — and the harrowing journey it took me on, which brought me to my breaking point — was never out to punish me, though it often felt that way. Its purpose was to polish me.

That means I’m a better person now than I was before Lyme. I’ll also explain this later.

In essence, the dream was telling me, “Don’t resist this. Resisting only makes things worse. The snake is here to help, not to hurt.” I couldn’t have understood that then, but after six long, challenging years of navigating this disease, I can say it’s true.

If I had known then what I know now, I might have worried far less about this life-altering — yet frightening — experience.

Welcome to There is Life After Lyme where I will be chronicling the path I took that ultimately led to me getting my life back.

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Who This Publication is For

Anyone navigating the dizzying corridors of Lyme disease — or another chronic illness — who needs a voice reminding them it’s possible to find their way out of the maze.

It is also for anyone who believes that adversity, no matter how painful, can be a great teacher and healer.

Why I’m Writing It Now

I understand my story may be useful to others walking a similar path.

Enough time has passed for me to see the journey with clearer eyes, outside of the crisis of it all.

I feel duty-bound to share what I learned.

And finally, writing will help me process the experience and connect with others walking this road.

What You Can Expect Here

Pure emotional honesty — as much as I can muster — and an authentic recounting of what I experienced, shared with your upliftment in mind.

Perhaps a little humor and lightness along the way, because it wasn’t all bad.

A new post every 1–2 weeks.

No advice. No protocols. No sugar coating.

And no marketing nonsense. Just the story. This publication will always remain free.

My Prayer and Aspiration

I aspire for There is Life After Lyme to become the most thoughtful first-person archive of Lyme recovery online.

It will be a continuous, reflective account of a life-altering illness, written from within the experience.

And, of course, for you to find solace here and, perhaps, the oxygen to keep going all the way to the other side. It exists.

One Last Thing

It’s worth saying this clearly: my case turned out to be more severe than most. What followed is not what happens to everyone with Lyme. Many people are treated and recover without having to go through what I did.

If any of this resonated and you’d like to follow along as I share reflections from this journey, you’re welcome to subscribe below. If you know someone navigating Lyme disease or chronic illness, feel free to share this with them, too.

THANK YOU. 🙏🏻